Dear Customer Service Department…


baby boy sam, sitting in a My Little Snugabunny Cradle'N'Swing, has a blue pacifier stuck next to his faceDear customer service department,

I have been coming to your fine establishment for 20 weeks now. I consider myself to be one of your best customers. I would like to bring a small matter to your attention at this time. My pacifier seems to be wedged against my cheek, not in my mouth. I do admit some responsibility for this situation, however I would like to kindly ask for your assistance in rectifying it as soon as possible. Thank you for allowing me to bring this matter to your attention.


Technically, Dad, the theme from Gilligan’s Island is not a lullaby. But you can tell me again what happened to The Minnow.


Baby boy max, wearing a black Polo outfit, sits on a BoppyNewbornLounger, while giving insight to his father
(Gilligan’s Island Intro [YouTube])

And, for the record, nor is Spider-Man [YouTube].
And not The Brady Bunch Theme [YouTube] either.

What other songs do you actually know?